Hey guys. So, uhm.. When i'm not uploading pictures in my updates, i'm blogging from my phone.. And my phone don't want to upload my pictures. But everytime i'm blogging from a computer, there'll come pictures. I promise!
Okay, so. Helloooo. How are u guys? I hope you're great. I am. But I have a headache.. Poor me. Haha, just kidding.
My story about how I found Christian Beadles:
Once upon a time, I was chillin around on YouTube.. Watchin some random peep's videos. Hmm.. Wow, cute guy. *Click* Oww, he's funny. Hot. Then ------------> I saw his smile..
I will never be able to describe that wonderful moment. I've never felt anything like that before. Christian Beadles, i'm in love with you. That smile can light up all my days when they're black as the night sky. Then I started to search "Christian Beadles" on Facebook and there were like 13456765432095746534 Christian Beadles's!? And I was like whaaat. o.O
Then, I noticed he was kind of a celibrity. I searched "Christian Beadles" on Google & on weheartit.com .. Wow, lots of pictures. I made a Twitter account (
http://twitter.com/mariellofficial) and followed my lovely Christian. He followed me back, but at first, I didn't notice. Then I saw "@littlecbeadles follows you" Wow, that's good. My love is following me. How great isn't that, aight? ;)
Since that day i've watched Christian's videos on YouTube/Keek almost everyday. Not everyday, cause i'm not obsessed. He's normal too, even though he's famous. He should be treated like everyone else, but.. That smile. He made the stars shine like never before. He made my days so much brighter.
I was bullied, still am. But not so much anymore. Christian Beadles helped me through it. And he doesn't even know about it. I hope he'll read this sometime, so you can read my story and understand how thankful I really am. People called me pig, etc. because my nose is kinda up (?) -i'm from sweden, have a lil problems with my english ;)-
I had almost the whole school against me. My best friend left me. I was all alone in school. I never told anyone how hurted I really was. I suffered. At day, I was sad.. Didn't talk to anyone. Just.. sad. At night, I watched Christian Beadles's videos. He made me smile, when no one else did. Thank you so much for that. Then, the worst thing happend. My computer broke. I didn't have a computer, oh my gosh what am I gonna do?!
So, I couldn't watch his videos. At day, I was sad.. Didn't talk to anyone. Just.. sad. At night, I was sad.. Didn't talk to anyone. Just.. sad. After a while, I started writing down every little detail about what people said about me, then I read it, over and over and over again. At last, I believed what they said. I was a pig. And they wanted to kill me. Yes, they said they were going to kill me because I was ugly.
I started to get some weird phone calls, I answered "hello..?" and the only thing they did were laugh or making pig noices. I just hung up.
So, I believed what they said about me. I started writing long texts about how much I wanted to die. I wanted to die. All my friends had left me.. I was all by myself. No one cared. After 6 months, I had over 300 papers where I had wrote down everything. And me comitting suicide. Yep, that was my plan. Suicide. Now when I think about it, I just think it's pathetic. One time, at night my mom found me crying at my room. I told her everything.. I couldn't handle life anymore.. I couldn't handle anything. Once in a while (like 1 time in month) I could sit by my mom's computer, guess what I did? Watch Christian's videos. He made me smile. Even though I wanted to die. He has always made me smile. He's my saviour in every situation. Thank you. (again..)
After the weekend, I really didn't wanna go to school so I stayed home. Mom stayed home with me. I watched TV and mom were downstairs.. Then I walked downstairs and I saw my mom cry.. (she never cries, NEVER!!) I asked why.. She said: "It's not easy for me as a mother to know what people's doing to you.."
Then I said: "If it's not easy for you, then think about how it is for me.." She said: "I can't believe you've handled this for so long.. You're so strong honey!" Then I started to cry.. And we hugged.
After 3 days, I walked to school. My teacher had noticed that I wasn't ok, so she sent me to a girl named Madeleine to talk. I was there 3 times, then the police came to my school. They talked to everyone that bullied me. Some of them apoligized, some didn't.
Now, 1 year after everything. I can't believe I handled everything. I really noticed that i'm strong. "What doesn't kills you, makes you stronger" It almost killed me, but it didn't. It made me stronger. I do notice that i'm stronger. I really do. I am strong.
This is to Christian Beadles (if you're even reading this..)
Thank you so so so much for making me smile when no one else did. Thank you for keeping my hope up. Thank you for having that gorgeous smile, that made me fly without wings. Thank you for existing. You really changed my life! Believe it or not, but you are my angel. My saviour in every situation.
Thank you. God bless you.
All my blessings is for you. My love.
/ Mariell Adams.
Contact: mariellofficial@hotmail.com
Keek: http://keek.com/mariellSWAG
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000101354681
Like-Page: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/Mariell-Gustafsson/207210209350935
YouTube channel: http://youtube.com/user/malleohyeah
Twitter: http://twitter.com/mariellofficial
THANK YOU FOR READING. MEANS ALOT. LOVE LOVE LOVE you.
